Salisbury's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into reviewing [Imagine A Very Unique Hotel Name Here]. This ain't your cookie-cutter hotel review – prepare for some real talk, some messy opinions, and maybe even a few tangents. Let's get this show on the road…
First Impressions & Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (and a Little bit of Grumbling)
Okay, so first things first: the [Hotel Name]'s website promises a lot. And I – I, someone prone to serious hotel-related anxiety – was cautiously optimistic. Let's talk accessibility.
- Wheelchair Accessible: The website says it is. But here's the thing: just because a place says it's accessible, doesn't mean it is. I'm going to need some specifics. Did they REALLY make that path to the front desk wide enough? And the pool… does it have a ramp or lift? Important questions. I need to see more details on their actual accessibility features.
- Elevator: Okay, at least they have an elevator. That is a good start.
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: Again, the website says it, but show me the details. Grab bars? Lowered counters? Real-world reviews are crucial here. More details are needed.
Internet - the Modern-Day Necessity (and a Potential Headache)
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Praise be! Honestly, it's 2024, if a hotel doesn't offer free Wi-Fi, I'm side-eyeing them hard. A total must.
- Internet Access - LAN: Okay, old school. For the IT nerds amongst us. Good to have.
- Internet Services: Broad category. Need more clarification here, but free wifi is a life saver.
- Wi-Fi in Public Areas: See above. Free WiFi. Important.
Cleanliness and Safety: The Pandemic Era (and the Overkill)
Okay, let's rip the band-aid off. The world is weird now. Hotels have to be hyper-aware of cleanliness. [Hotel Name] seems to get this – thankfully. It’s about to get a little repetitive because many of these are interlinked and so important.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good. Essential.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Expected, and definitely appreciated.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Well, this is interesting, I’ll have to find out if they'll actually discount the stay.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Again, vital.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere? Good, GOOD!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Please tell me the staff is actually trained. Not just a certificate on a wall.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Yep. No brainer.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Makes sense.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Right.
- Safe dining setup: Tell me more!
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Okay, that’s reassuring.
- Sterilizing equipment: Necessary.
- Hygiene certification: Crucial.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Okay.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: (Where My Stomach Gets Excited – mostly)
Right, this is where things get interesting. Food is the ultimate test of a hotel. I'm a foodie, and I need to know.
- Restaurants: Plural? Bless them.
- A la carte in restaurant / Buffet in restaurant: YES! Variety is the spice of life, and I like both.
- Asian breakfast / Asian cuisine in restaurant / Vegetarian restaurant: Excellent! Gotta have options.
- International cuisine in restaurant / Western cuisine in restaurant: Again, options. I’m a terrible omnivore, and I approve.
- Breakfast service / Breakfast [buffet] / Breakfast in room / Breakfast takeaway service: Okay, again, OPTIONS. Great. My kind of place!
- Coffee/tea in restaurant / Coffee shop / Bottle of water/Complimentary tea: I require tea, so this is critical.
- Poolside bar / Bar / Happy hour / Snack bar: Poolside bar? Sold. Happy hour for the win!
- Room service [24-hour]: A hotel that understands my midnight snack cravings. Love it.
- Desserts in restaurant / Soup in restaurant / Salad in restaurant: Yes, to all of those.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: (My Happy Place?)
Alright, let’s find out if this isn't just a pretty face, and it actually delivers the relaxation it's promising…
- Pool with view / Swimming pool [outdoor]: A view?! Yes, I need it!
- Spa / Spa/sauna: My favorite places.
- Sauna / Steamroom / Foot bath: Are you sensing a theme? I love a good sweat.
- Massage / Body scrub / Body wrap: YES. Sign me up. Especially the wrap – I need to get a body wrap and sleep on that.
- Fitness center / Gym/fitness: Okay, I intend to use these. Time will tell.
Services and Conveniences: (The Little Things That Matter)
This is where a hotel really shines.
- Air conditioning in public area / Air conditioning: Essential, obviously.
- Concierge / Doorman: Welcome to a good hotel.
- Contactless check-in/out: Love it. Efficient and safer.
- Daily housekeeping: Essential.
- Elevator: Important again.
- Cash withdrawal / Currency exchange / Cashless payment service: Handy.
- Convenience store / Gift/souvenir shop: Always a weakness for me.
- Dry cleaning / Ironing service / Laundry service: Yes, yes, and yes!
- Food delivery: Very important. Especially if the room service is limited.
- Luggage storage: Always helpful.
- Safety deposit boxes: Must-have for me.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Okay if you need it.
- Meeting/banquet facilities / Indoor venue for special events / Outdoor venue for special events: Interesting.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events / Projector/LED display/ Meeting stationery:
- Wi-Fi for special events: I'm getting the feeling that this is a place for events.
For the Kids:
- Babysitting service / Family/child friendly / Kids facilities / Kids meal: Well, if you have kids, this is important.
Rooms… The Real Deal
Now for the really interesting part. What are the rooms like?
- Additional toilet / Private bathroom / Separate shower/bathtub: Crucial.
- Air conditioning: Required.
- Alarm clock / Wake-up service: Nice.
- Bathrobes / Slippers: Gotta have.
- Bathtub: If I'm relaxing.
- Blackout curtains: Necessary for sleep.
- Closet / Extra long bed: I need a closet and room.
- Coffee/tea maker / Complimentary tea: Again, TEA!
- Daily housekeeping: Needed.
- Desk / Laptop workspace: Depends on the purpose of my stay.
- Free bottled water: Yes, please.
- Hair dryer / Ironing facilities: Yes.
- High floor: Preferred.
- In-room safe box: Must.
- Interconnecting room(s) available: OK, if a family member is coming.
- Internet access – LAN / Internet access – wireless / Wi-Fi [free]: Good to have options.
- Linens / Towels: Essential
- Mini bar / Refrigerator: Yes.
- Non-smoking / Smoke detector: Good.
- On-demand movies / Satellite/cable channels: A bonus.
- Reading light: Nice.
- Scale: Useful but I don't want to use it.
- Seating area / Sofa: A cozy spot.
- Smoke alarms: Required.
- Soundproofing / Soundproof rooms: Love soundproofing.
- Socket near the bed: YES!
- Telephone: Could be useful.
- Toiletries: Fine.
- Umbrella: If I'm somewhere it rains.
- Visual alarm: Good.
- Window that opens: Great to have options.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer / Taxi service / Valet parking / Car park [free of charge] / Car park [on-site] / Car power charging station / Bicycle parking: These are good options to have, depending on the location.
The Verdict (and a Compelling Offer!)
Okay, so [Hotel Name] has potential. It’s got
Charleston Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at Holiday Inn Express Southridge!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're talking Salisbury, Maryland - Holiday Inn Express edition - and trust me, it's gonna be a ride. My brain's practically sparking with anticipation (and maybe a little bit of the pre-trip nerves that make me question every packing decision I've ever made).
Day 1: Arrival - Bless This Mess & Pray for Wi-Fi that Doesn't Die
- 1:00 PM (ish) - Arrival at HIE Salisbury: Okay, so the drive. Let's just say GPS and I have a complicated relationship. We argued about a "shortcut" involving a gravel road that definitely didn't feature in my mental image of "Scenic Route." Finally, finally, I see the familiar red sign of the Holiday Inn Express. Relief floods me. Now, if the front desk guy could just smile, my mood would significantly improve. I swear, some of these hotel folks treat you like you're a potential axe murderer - c'mon, I'm just here for the free breakfast and a chance to finally unclench my jaw.
- 1:30 PM - Check-in Chaos: The room! Key cards are a fickle beast. I'm convinced they're sentient and actively enjoy thwarting my attempts at entering my assigned sanctuary. Finally, success! My luggage is a disaster zone (apparently, I packed enough clothes to furnish a small apartment), the bed looks comfy, and… the Wi-Fi. Crickets. Oh sweet baby Jesus, the Wi-Fi needs to work. I need my social media validation! Right now I'm a little terrified of the hotel's Wi-Fi, so I'm crossing fingers (and toes) that it works.
- 2:00 PM - Exploring the Neighborhood: The first order of business: finding coffee. The room's instant stuff… well, it's a crime against coffee. There's a Dunkin' a mile away, which is a long walk, but worth it for a REAL cup. I'm praying for good weather, because I'm convinced I'm going to get lost. This town is nothing like my home's busy town!
- 3:00 PM - Meltdown #1: Okay, the Wi-Fi is still being a jerk. I'm starting to feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Maybe I'll just go sit in the lobby. Maybe I'll cry. Maybe I'll start building a fort out of the complimentary toiletries. (Just kidding…. maybe.) (Okay, I have started accumulating sample-sized lotions - don't judge.)
- 4:00 PM - Reconnaissance Mission - The Pool: The biggest decision of the day: pool or no pool. I decided it would have to be a warm-up swim, but the pool will have to do. It looks inviting. The only issue: I'm not sure which suit to wear. I have a lot of swimsuits so this might take a while.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner at a Local Restaurant: I've been told there's a great crab shack nearby. Crab legs are my love language. I'm already envisioning myself cracking open those suckers, covered in Old Bay, and blissfully ignoring the world. Might try to find a cute place.
- 8:00 PM - Conquering the Internet: Back at the room. Praying the Wi-Fi gods will show me mercy. If I can actually get a good connection, I will likely binge watch something on Netflix.
- 9:00 PM - Sleep? Hopefully, the crab overload won't keep me up all night. I usually have no problem sleeping, especially in nice beds.
Day 2: Breakfast Debacles, Delmar Delights and a Potential Existential Crisis
- 7:00 AM - The Free Breakfast Bonanza (or Bust): Ah, the Holiday Inn Express breakfast bar. A sacred institution. The options can be hit or miss. Hoping for fluffy pancakes, crisp bacon, and a coffee that doesn't immediately send me back to the Wi-Fi situation. If they have those mini-cinnamon rolls, it's a win. I'm also crossing my fingers that people aren't grabbing everything!
- 8:00 AM - Delmar: A day trip to Delmar. I am always curious about new places.
- 9:00 AM - The Road Ahead: Depending on how quickly the internet is working, this could take a while.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch/Nap time: Time for a snack. The nap is crucial to the day.
- 1:00 PM- 4:00 PM - Driving around: Just driving around, trying new things.
- 5:00 PM - Dinner! Dinner with the family, in the room.
- 7:00 PM - TV time! It's always nice to watch TV.
- 9:00 PM - Sleep: Time to sleep.
Day 3: Departure - Leaving Salisbury (But Never Forgetting the Wi-Fi?)
- 7:00 AM - The Free Breakfast Finale: One last shot at the breakfast buffet. This time, I'm going for the heartiest meal possible, in hopes of staving off any post-departure blues.
- 8:00 AM - Check-out & Farewell: Check out smooth sailing, or one final key card battle? Place your bets! I'm hoping for a quick and painless departure. I'm also secretly scouring the room for any tiny soaps to take home as souvenirs.
- 9:00 AM - The Drive: The drive home. Reflecting on the trip. Did I fully enjoy the Holiday Inn Express? Did I make the most of my time in Salisbury? Am I already plotting my next vacation? (The answer is a resounding YES, to all of the above).
- 10:00 AM - The Drive Home: The drive home, is all that's left.
- 11:00 AM - The Drive Home (still): Finally home.
So, there you have it. A brutally honest, beautifully messy, and hopefully hilarious account of my Salisbury adventure. Sure, it wasn't perfect. But the imperfections, well, that's what made it real. And who knows, maybe I'll be back in Salisbury someday. Just maybe I'll bring my own Wi-Fi hotspot next time. And a LOT of sample-sized lotions.
Guanzhou's BEST Hidden Gem: Huangpu East District Comfort Inn!
So, like, *actually* learning to cook? Why bother? Can't I just live off takeout and sad desk lunches forever?
Okay, real talk? I get it. The siren song of instant noodles and the convenience of delivery is *mighty* tempting. Honestly, for the longest time, my culinary adventures peaked at "warming up a frozen pizza" and "successfully operating a can opener." My apartment… well, the fire alarm had seen more action than the oven.
But then... *the existential dread hit.* Eating the same dry chicken salad sandwich three days in a row? The sheer monotony of it all! Seriously, my soul was starting to crave something *more*… and my bank account was screaming in agony from all the takeout bills. Let's just say, my relationship with Domino's was getting a little *too* comfortable.
So, yeah, "why bother?" Because, eventually, you’ll crave *actual* food. Food that tastes of something other than the plastic that your microwaveable meals were packaged in. Because, let's face it, eventually, your body is going to revolt against the processed food that is your life. And honestly, because if I can do it, you absolutely can too. Trust me, my first attempt at making a pasta sauce involved a fire extinguisher. I kid you not!
What's the *absolute* hardest thing about learning to cook? Like, the thing that makes you want to chuck the spatula across the room?
Oh, this is a juicy one. For me? **Time management.** Seriously. "Oh, this recipe says 'simmer for 15 minutes'? Sure! No problem!" **LIES.** First, you spend 10 minutes just looking for the damn pot lid. Then, you realize you're out of garlic. Then the phone rings. Then the dog needs to go out. And suddenly, the "15 minutes" have stretched into an eternity, and your vegetables are either charred to a crisp or still rock-hard.
And then there's the *cleanup*. Oh, the cleanup. The mountains of dishes, the sticky counters, the mysterious stains... It's a culinary crime scene! I swear, some days, I feel like I spend more time *cleaning* than *cooking*. That's why I always eat the leftovers, so I can delay the scrubbing.
Okay, fine, I'm in. Where do I even *start*? Like, what's the *beginner* cookbook you'd actually recommend? The one that doesn't make you feel like an idiot?
Listen, I've been burned by cookbooks before. Glossy photos of perfect soufflés? Text that only a Michelin-starred chef could understand? Yeah, no thanks.
My suggestion? **Start with something super basic.** Like, a cookbook that tells you how to boil an egg without ending up with a rubbery mess. Seriously. Learn the fundamentals. Master a few simple recipes. And *don't* be afraid to mess up! My kitchen has seen enough culinary disasters to fill a cookbook of its own. We're talking everything from burning eggs to boiling water.
I always recommend something with a lot of pictures. I am a visual learner!
I just burned something. Again. My smoke alarm is going crazy. Help!
Okay, deep breaths! We've ALL been there. My most memorable kitchen fire started because... well, let's just say I got distracted by TikTok. Long story short, I almost torched my apartment to the ground trying to make deep-fried Oreos.
**Here's the emergency protocol:**
1. **Turn off the heat immediately!** (Duh, but it's surprising how often this gets overlooked in the heat of the moment. Pun intended.)
2. **If it's a grease fire, never pour water on it!** That's a recipe for EXPLOSION. Grab a lid to suffocate the flames, or use baking soda (lots of it).
3. **Ventilate the kitchen.** Open windows and doors. Wave a towel like your life depends on it. Your neighbors will think you're summoning a demon.
4. **Don't panic!** Seriously, it happens. Every. Single. Time.
And then there's the cleanup. It's a mess, but it's a lesson. Learn from the experience. That is all.
What's your *biggest* cooking fail? The one that still makes you shudder?
Okay, buckle up, because this one's a doozy.
It involves a Thanksgiving turkey. The *whole* turkey. I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that I could "conquer" a 20-pound bird for my first ever Thanksgiving. I watched every YouTube tutorial known to man, bought all the fancy herbs, and even splurged on a meat thermometer.
What could go wrong?
Everything.
First, the bird wouldn't fit in the oven. I had to jam it in there, bending its poor little legs. Then, it took *hours* longer than the recipe suggested. I kept checking the temperature, sticking that thermometer in, only to find… nothing. The temperature was barely budging.
My family was arriving. The clock was ticking. The turkey was still raw.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the temperature *finally* reached a safe level. I pulled it out, triumphant!
Except… it was horribly dry. Like, the Sahara Desert dry. And the skin? It was closer to black charcoal than golden brown. Seriously, you could have used it as a weapon.
We ended up ordering a pizza. And to this day, the memory of that Thanksgiving turkey fuels my fear and loathing of large poultry. It was epic, a culinary disaster, and the stuff of legend in my family to this day. I am still terrified of turkeys.
Any tips for a cooking-challenged newbie? Like, any *actual* practical advice that isn't just "read the recipe"?
Okay, listen up, because here's where I drop some actual wisdom.
* **Read the entire recipe *before* you start.** Seriously. This is the single most important lesson I've learned (the hard way) from my cooking mishaps.
* **Mise en place!** This fancy French term simply means "everything in its place." Chop your veggies, measure your ingredients, and have everything ready to go before you start cooking. This will save you time and stress.
* **Don't be afraid to experiment.** Cooking is art! I mean, within reason, of course. Don't add cayenne pepper to your chocolate chip cookies.
* **Taste as you go!** Season accordingly!
* **Embrace the imperfections!** Not every dish will be Instagram-worthy. My first attempt at making hollandaise sauce? Looked like scrambled eggs. But hey, at least I learned something!
* **Clean as you go!** It prevents the feeling of dread.
* **Don't be afraid to Google it. Or ask a friend.** Google is your friend. And if you know someone who can cook, ask them for help!
* **Have fun!** Seriously. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing it wrong. Cooking should be fun. It should be a learning experience. It should be aWorld Wide Inns
