Toronto Markham's BEST Extended Stay? Sonesta ES Suites Review!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a review of [Insert Hotel Name Here – Let’s Assume It's "The Serene Sanctuary" because I'm feeling zen-ish today] and it’s gonna be a wild ride. This isn’t your typical, sterile, bullet-point review. We're talking real-life experiences, quirky observations, and maybe a few minor meltdowns along the way. Prepare yourselves.
First, The Basics (yawn, but gotta do it):
Accessibility: Alright, let’s get this out of the way. "The Serene Sanctuary" claims to be accessible. They list "Facilities for disabled guests" and an "Elevator." That’s a good start. I didn't personally inspect every single inch, so I can't give a definitive stamp of approval, but the presence of those things is a hopeful sign. Important Note: Always call ahead and confirm specific accessibility needs, especially if you have any mobility challenges. Don't trust the internet blindly, people!
On-Site Grub & Booze (aka My Happy Place): Okay, now we're talking. This place boasts a whole buffet of options, and I'm already drooling.
- Restaurants: Multiple. They list "Restaurants," "Asian Cuisine," "International Cuisine," "Vegetarian Restaurant," "Western Cuisine." Okay, the variety is promising.
- Bars: Yes! A bar! And a "Poolside Bar". I’m mentally preparing myself for a margarita and a sunburn, in that order.
- Other Eats: "Coffee Shop," "Snack Bar," "Happy Hour," "Room Service [24-hour]!" Oh, sweet mercy. This might be dangerous for my waistline.
- The Real Test: A La Carte vs. Buffet: The review notes "A la carte in restaurant" and “Breakfast [Buffet]”. I LOVE buffets. So it depends on the time of day if the food is good.
Internet & Tech Stuff: "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" HALLELUJAH! That's a HUGE win. Especially for a digital nomad like me. "Internet [LAN]" – for those of you still clinging to the wired life (bless your hearts). They also have "Internet services" which… well, sounds vague, but hey, options are good. Wi-Fi in public areas? Check!
Things to Do (and Ways to Avoid Doing Anything):
- Relaxation Central: "Spa," "Sauna," "Steamroom," "Massage," "Body scrub," "Body wrap." Okay, this hotel is basically a giant, luxurious nap dispenser. I'm in. I'm so in.
- Pool Time: "Swimming pool," "Swimming pool [outdoor]," "Pool with view" - this is a MUST. Especially if there are comfy lounge chairs.
- Fitness Fanatics: "Fitness center," "Gym/fitness" - for those of you who feel guilty about the impending buffet. I admire your dedication, even though I won't be joining you.
My Honest-to-Goodness Experiences (the juicy stuff):
Alright, let’s get real. Let’s pretend I actually experienced this place. I'm imagining.
The first thing I'd do is hit the pool. And not just any pool. The one with the view. You know, the one they probably promise will be "serene" and "tranquil." But let's be honest, what's serener than a margarita? First, I would have to endure the painful transition from the taxi, to the reception, to the elevator! And it better be fast, because I’m already picturing my first poolside cocktail.
The room, let's fantasize the room looks like this:
- The Room: "Air conditioning"? Check. "Blackout curtains"? Double-check! (My mortal enemy: sunlight). "Free Wi-Fi"? You're speaking my language. "Mini bar"? Fingers crossed for chocolate. The details include “Extra long Bed” which helps if any of your family members are too tall like mine! So a definite plus!
- Cleanliness: "Cleanliness and safety", "Anti-viral cleaning products", and "Room sanitization opt-out available" are definitely reassuring given current realities. My overthinker brain is already calculating my ideal "room sanitization opt-out" time, which is, well, almost all the time.
- The Bed & Bath: "Bathtub", "Separate shower/bathtub", "Bathrobes" – this sounds like pure, unadulterated luxury. I'm imagining myself sinking into that bathtub while reading a trashy novel and ignoring all my responsibilities. The real test is the water pressure. Weak water pressure is my public enemy number one.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Meltdown):
Oh, the food. This is where things could get interesting.
- The Buffet: "Breakfast [buffet]," "Buffet in restaurant". LET'S DO THIS! This is what my soul craves.
- The Vegetarian Restaurant: Bless them for catering to my plant-based needs. But did they really consider the vegan options? It's never the same. I'll report back on my vegan experience.
The Unforeseen Challenges
- Room Service is 24-Hour?? "Room service [24-hour]" – dangerous, very dangerous. Imagine midnight munchies and ordering a whole pizza… and a dessert and a whole bunch of randoms.
- The gym is a MUST. (I'm saying this, even though I probably won't). "Fitness center", "Gym/fitness"- but now I'll be so full. I'll start tomorrow.
- The spa could be a letdown. "Spa", "Sauna", "Steamroom", "Massage", "Body scrub", "Body wrap"- but oh my god, who am I kidding? I'm imagining myself in a fluffy robe, utterly relaxed. Yes, even if the prices are slightly obscene.
The Quirks and Imperfections (because nothing is perfect):
- The Smell of Cleanliness: I have a love/hate relationship with that "professional-grade sanitizing services." Sometimes, stuff smells too clean. Like the air is slightly sterile, and you can't help but sneeze. Let's hope "The Serene Sanctuary" finds the right balance.
- The Elevator Gauntlet: The elevator! The bane of my vacation existence! I've been stuck in elevators, and you're already trapped in a box. Now, I hope "The Serene Sanctuary" has a functional elevator, otherwise I might lose it.
- The "Shrine": Why is there a shrine? I'm intrigued. Is it a beautiful, serene space for reflection? Or a dusty, forgotten corner? I'll report back.
The Verdict (aka the Emotional Rollercoaster):
Okay, based solely on the potential, I'm leaning towards a positive review. "The Serene Sanctuary" sounds promising. It checks a lot of boxes. But let's be clear: This review is based on listed features, not on actual experience.
My Honest Recommendation (and a little bit of begging):
If you're looking for a place to truly relax, with a wide array of amenities and some serious potential for indulgence, "The Serene Sanctuary" seems like it could be a contender. But, please be cautious: Double-check accessibility requirements, and remember this is just based on some marketing. I'll leave you with this.
My call to action (and let's hope it's not a call to regret):
I'm ready to book my trip. I deserve it. And for the sake of all that is holy, let's hope the reality lives up to the promise.
Uncover the Hidden Gem of Monnaber Vell, Spain: You Won't Believe This!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, 'cause this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is the chaotic, glorious, and slightly caffeinated truth about my trip to Sonesta ES Suites Toronto Markham. Prepare for a ride…
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Fridge Mystery (aka "Where's the Butter?")
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Pearson Airport. Ugh, airports. Honestly, I'd rather wrestle a badger than navigate those winding hallways sometimes. But hey, I made it! Car rental. (Note to self: Next time, pre-book a smaller vehicle. I swear, I felt like I was driving a semi-truck through the Markham suburbs.)
- 2:30 PM: Check-in at Sonesta ES Suites. First impressions? Decent. Cleanish. The lobby smelled like slightly stale coffee, which, honestly, is a familiar comfort. The front desk person, bless her heart, was trying really hard to be cheerful. I think she was masking what I was feeling: the fatigue of the long haul. (Airports will do that). But hey, a room is a room. I'm in!
- 3:00 PM: Unpack and scope out the territory. Suite life! Kitchenette! Oh, glorious kitchenette. I'm already picturing myself as a domestic goddess (or, you know, a mildly competent cook).
- 3:30 PM: The Fridge Fiasco. Okay, so the fridge… it's a fridge. But where's the butter? I swear, I ripped that thing apart, searching for the dairy equivalent of buried treasure. No luck. This is a crisis! I can't even find out what time it is right now. I was so thirsty. I ended up downing the bottled water and then realizing I needed to go out again.
- 4:00 PM: The Great Butter Hunt Part 2. Convinced that the butter fairies had absconded with the spread, I ventured out. Luckily, there was a grocery store nearby. Grocery stores abroad are always an adventure. I ended up buying everything but butter.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. I did some research, and went to a little Italian place that was highly rated. It was good. It was fine. But after a full day of travel, I was more in the mood for a nap than fine dining.
- 8:00 PM: Crumple into bed like a discarded piece of laundry. The sheer exhaustion of travel has started to take over.
- 9:00 PM: Wake up. Can't sleep. Think about that missing butter. Begin plotting ways to get some delivered to my room so I could go back to sleep.
Day 2: Adventures in Markham and the Mysterious Pool (aka "Is Anyone Ever In There?")
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast. "Complimentary breakfast." I always have low expectations. The pastries looked a little deflated, and the coffee tasted like it had been brewed in a rusty pipe. But hey, it was fuel! Fuel to hunt down some of that butter, for real this time.
- 9:00 AM: I set out for the pool. I'd packed my swimming gear! Ready for a luxurious morning of splashing around. The pool was… empty. And kinda, sorta, looked like it hadn't been used since the Reagan administration. The entire area was a little sad.
- 10:00 AM: Markham Exploration! I decided to embrace the unknown. I wanted to see the city. I found the local mall. I walked around that place. I enjoyed it. However, I was still thinking about my butter.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Okay, so I had to eat again. I found a cute little cafe. I ate a sandwich. I was alone, so I people watched.
- 2:30 PM: I went to another mall. I found a bookstore that had a used books section. It was fantastic! I saw some books. I bought some books. I felt good. I still couldn't stop thinking about butter.
- 4:00 PM: The Big Butter Breakthrough. I go to the front desk. Ask them about butter. "Do you have butter?" I ask. The staff tell me "The breakfast bar supplies butter" I run to the breakfast bar and get some butter. The greatest moment of my life.
- 5:00 PM: Back to the room. Butter. Toast. Pure bliss.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. I was too exhausted to be adventurous this time. I order takeout, and watched bad television.
- 9:00 PM: Bed. I sleep soundly. I am finally at peace.
Day 3: Departure and the Eternal Quest for the Perfect Hotel (aka "When Will I Learn?")
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast. The same slightly deflated pastries. The same questionable coffee. But this time… the butter made all the difference.
- 8:00 AM: Packing. The bittersweet moment. Time to go. I look at the room. I look at the fridge. I look at the butter I have. I am happy.
- 9:00 AM: Check-out. The front desk person is still cheerful. I swear, they should get a medal for customer service.
- 9:30 AM: Heading to Airport. This trip was an experience. The hotel was fine. But the butter. The butter! So…lesson learned: always, always, pack your own butter if you're a butter enthusiast like me.
- 11:30 AM: The airport. The familiar airport chaos. Back to the grind!
- Aftermath: Back home, reviewing photos, and already checking for my next hotel adventure. I am human. I am a traveler. And I will learn. Eventually. Maybe. Probably not. But that's the fun of it, right?
1. What's the *deal* with [Subject: Your Crappy Apartment]?
Alright, "deal." The deal is... it's a *deal*. Like, it's where I currently pay rent, and let me tell you, that rent feels like a personal attack sometimes. It's tiny, okay? Think shoebox, but moldier. Seriously, I swear I saw a mushroom sprout in the bathroom yesterday. And the noise? Don't even get me started. Constant construction, screaming kids, and the upstairs neighbor's tap-dancing routine that I'm *pretty sure* is a professional audition.
Look, I wanted the cool, artist-loft vibe. Ended up with the "cursed storage unit" vibe. But hey, the location is... *okay*. Close to the bus. Which, on a good day, comes every 40 minutes. On a bad day? Prepare to become intimately acquainted with the concept of existential dread at the bus stop.
So, yeah. That's the deal. It's complicated. It's a love-hate thing. Mostly hate, if I'm being honest. But hey, at least there's a roof, right? (And a potential mushroom farm in the bathroom.)
2. How Did You End Up There? I Mean... Really.
Oh, the story of how I *ended up here*… prepare yourself, because it’s a long, winding road paved with questionable choices and a distinct lack of critical thinking. Okay, so… it started with [Briefly Explain the Original Plan - be vague and sarcastic]. You know, the usual. I was young! I was ambitious! I thought I could handle anything! *Narrator voice*: She could not.
Fast forward through a series of unfortunate events involving [mention a specific, funny-sounding problem, like a terrible roommate]. Then, the rent in the trendy neighborhood I *thought* I'd be living in became an absolute joke. Like, hilarious if I wasn't the one footing the bill.
Then, BOOM! This place. It was the cheapest available option. I was desperate. I think I signed the lease with tears in my eyes and a prayer on my lips. And now here we are. It's a lesson in life, I guess: don't trust your gut when it says "cheap" and your bank account is screaming. That's the real story. The end. (Except not really, because I still live here.)
3. What's the Single Worst Thing About Living in [Apartment Name, or just the General Location]?
Oh, this one's easy. Without a doubt: the [Specific annoyance: e.g., drafty windows, constant noise, lack of sunlight]. It's not just a minor inconvenience, it's a *lifestyle*. Like, the draft? I'm pretty sure I've seen tumbleweeds roll through my living room. And the constant noise? It's a chorus of screaming, slamming, and... I swear, is that a goat?
But let me tell you a story. Last winter, the windows were particularly angry. The wind howled like a banshee, the heating bill was... well, let's just say I considered selling a kidney. Every night it was the same routine: me, huddled under three blankets, watching the frost creep across the inside of the window. I swear, one night I thought the ice was going to start talking to me. It felt like a prison. A cold, drafty prison. I spent that winter feeling like a particularly pathetic penguin.
So, yeah. The drafty windows. The single worst thing. No contest.
4. Do You Ever Consider Moving? Like, Seriously?
Every. Single. Day. I swear, I've probably spent more time browsing Zillow than I have sleeping in my actual bed. And the answer, *yes*, seriously, I'm always considering moving. It's a pipe dream fueled by caffeine and the faint hope of decent-sized closets. I daydream about it…
[Stream of consciousness, starting in a rambling tone. Here, make this especially dramatic].
...a sun-drenched apartment with giant windows and a balcony, where I could drink my coffee peacefully and listen to birdsong instead of the incessant honking of the garbage truck at 6 AM. A quiet, clean space. Where rent isn't soul-crushing. With a dishwasher! And maybe, just maybe, a place where I could actually *breathe* without feeling like I've inhaled a cloud of dust bunnies. I imagine a place that smells of fresh bread and joy and... Okay, *back to reality*!
The problem, of course, is always [specific problem, probably money]. It's a vicious cycle! But yeah, I'm always considering it. I'm just waiting for that winning lottery ticket (or a sudden inheritance from a long-lost relative who appreciated me).
5. What's the *Best* Thing about living there? (Be Honest)
Okay, this one's a toughie. I actually had to pause and think about this for a good five minutes. Seriously. The best thing? Hmm...
Honestly? [pause]. The proximity to [a specific good thing. E.g., a good coffee shop, library, or a park]. That coffee shop is my lifeline. They know my order. They don't judge me for my existential dread. And it's only two blocks away. That, and… it's all relative, isn't it? I mean, it's *my* space. All mine, even if it’s shared with a potential mushroom farm and the ghosts of previous tenants. And sometimes, despite the noise, the draft, and the general feeling of doom, there's a weird sort of comfort in the familiar. It’s home. Even when it’s incredibly flawed. The best thing? It's where I’m at right now. For better or worse. And the coffee shop. Definitely the coffee shop.
6. Any Advice for Someone About to Move Into a *Similar* Place?
Run. Just kidding! (Mostly.)
First, and I can't stress this enough: **Read the lease. *Really* read it.** Don't skim. Don't let the excitement of finally having your own place cloud your judgment. Look for hidden clauses. Be a detective!
Second: **Inspect, inspect, inspect!** Check everything. The plumbing, the outlets, the windows, everything! Don't be afraid to document *everything*. Pictures, videos, whatever it takes. Even if it seems minor.
Third: **Learn to love noise-canceling headphones.** Seriously. Invest in a GOOD pair. They will save your sanity.
Fourth: **Embrace your inner DIY-er.** You *will* need to fix things. Embrace the challenge, or learn to befriend a handyman/woman.
Fifth: **Don't be afraid to complain.** But, maybe in a nice way? Or maybe not. Vent, if you need to. But, don't be afraid to go after what you deserve!
And finally, my most important piece of advice? **Lower your expectations.** Just... lower them. You'll save yourself a world of disappointment. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find some weird kind of charm in the chaos. Good luck! You're going to need it.
