Colton's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review! (IHG)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the wild world of… Colton's BEST Hotel? The Holiday Inn Express (IHG)! Look, I stayed there, I survived, and I've got THOUGHTS. This isn't just a review; it's therapy.
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First Impressions (aka Disaster-Free Check-in?!)
Let's be real, after a five-hour drive, all I wanted was to actually get into my room. Thankfully, the check-in/out [express] was a lifesaver. No standing around while the receptionist meticulously checked my ID three times. Boom! Room key, done. And honestly, a major win for a weary traveler. I did use the Contactless check-in/out, and it actually worked! Score!
(Accessibility: The Good, The Okay, and The "Huh?")
Okay, real talk. Accessibility is HUGE for me, and supposedly this place caters to it. Wheelchair accessible is a big check, but let's go deeper. Did I personally roll around in a wheelchair to test every single ramp? Nope! But I did see elevators, and the lobby seemed navigable. The hallway carpets were…carpeted. You know the drill. I did notice the Facilities for disabled guests were there, but to what degree? Hmph. A double check might be useful.
The Room: My Temporary Fortress
Alright, my room. (Available in all rooms, by the way…duh.) It had Air conditioning (thank GOD, this is California, people!), and I threw open the Window that opens (breathing in that crisp California air…or what passed for it in Colton). Wi-Fi [free] was a godsend, and it actually worked (unlike some other…ahem…hotels I’ve stayed in). The Internet access – wireless was also clutch. The desk was surprisingly comfortable for my laptop, which is good, as I needed to do some work. The In-room safe box made me feel responsible (just kidding, I left my passport on the counter).
The Bathroom with Separate Shower/Bathtub. It was clean and had the standard Toiletries and Towels. The Mirror was perfect (and slightly blurry with my reflection, post-drive). The Hair dryer saved me from a bad hair day (I'm not kidding, you can’t mess with my hair). It had a Reading light, which I used to read. The Slippers were a welcome addition, which is good to be comfy. Alarm clock: I hated it, but it did its job. Blackout curtains were appreciated.
The Bed. Ah, the bed. Extra long bed? I think so. I did have a GREAT SLEEP. Coffee/tea maker: essential for me. Refrigerator: great for my snacks. Also, Free bottled water.
There was a Closet, which I’m rarely used for, so I left my clothes on the floor. Not the Hotel’s problem. There was the addition of Smoke detector and Fire extinguisher: you feel safe indeed.
One small problem. The room was only cleaned once a day. I would have appreciated it to be twice.
(Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Carb-Lover's Lament and a Savior)
The Breakfast [buffet]: ok. It. Was. Fine. The usual suspects: Breakfast service includes Western breakfast. The Asian breakfast was also offered, which I didn't try. Coffee was decent. There was a buffet. Plenty of Coffee/tea in restaurant and Desserts in restaurant. There was an ok choice, though I needed some things. The Breakfast takeaway service? Brilliant for those who like to bolt!
I didn’t really use the Restaurants but there was an A la carte in restaurant. It was a restaurant. I didn't spend much time there. The real win for me was the Snack bar. Late-night cravings? Sorted.
(Cleanliness and Safety: Did I Catch a Germ? (Probably Not!))
Cleanliness and safety are HUGE right now, and honestly, this hotel felt pretty on top of it. The Daily disinfection in common areas gave me peace of mind. There was Hand sanitizer everywhere. The Staff trained in safety protocol were polite. The Rooms sanitized between stays made me feel safe.
(Things to Do/Ways to Relax: If You Have Time…(I Didn't))
Alright, let's be honest. I was there for work and a quick getaway. But there was a Swimming pool [outdoor], and I didn’t use it. The Gym/fitness center was there, which I also didn’t use.
(Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter)
Daily housekeeping: A godsend. Laundry service: clutch for longer stays. Elevator: essential. Concierge: I didn't need it, but it's there. Car park [free of charge]? HUGE win! Cash withdrawal: another win, I guess. Family/child friendly: I didn't see any kids, but hey, it's Colton. Non-smoking rooms? YES, please! (For the Kids: Not My Department, But…)
They had Babysitting service and Kids meal. So you might be able to bring your kids.
(Getting Around: Easy Peasy (Mostly))
They have Car park [free of charge]. Taxi service is available, but I used my own car.
(The Offer: My Personal "Get Out Of Jail Free" Card)
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Why? Because you deserve a little escape. Don't just take my word for it; experience it yourself!
Final Verdict:
Look, the Colton Holiday Inn Express isn't the Ritz. But it's clean, convenient, and it gets the job done. If you're looking for a solid place to crash in Colton that offers decent value and is relatively safe, this is a solid choice. It's not perfect, but it is definitely better than some other hotels.
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Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's travel itinerary. We're going full-blown, messy, glorious chaos at the Holiday Inn Express Colton By IHG. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable decisions, and enough fast food to make your arteries weep. Let's get this show on the road… or at least, try to.
The Colton Calamity: A "Plan" (More Like a Wish) for Adventure
Day 1: Arrival, Apprehension, and Alleged "Relaxation"
1:00 PM: Arrive at Ontario International Airport (ONT). Ugh, airports. The smell of over-roasted coffee and existential dread hangs heavy in the air. My flight was delayed, naturally. You know, the usual. Grab my rental car, a beat-up Corolla named "Betsy" (don't ask). My expectations are low, and I'm already mentally preparing for the traffic.
2:30 PM: Actually, the traffic wasn't that bad. Miracle! Check into the Holiday Inn Express Colton. It's… well, it's a Holiday Inn Express. You get what you pay for, right? The lobby smells faintly of chlorine and what I hope is cleaning solution. The clerk seems as bored as I am. I request a room away from the ice machine. (I can't stand the constant ding ding ding of ice.)
3:00 PM: Room check and unpacking. The TV remote is sticky. Seriously? I guess I'll wipe it down with a hotel toilet paper square. My room overlooks the parking lot, so that's not ideal. But hey, it's cleanish, and the bed looks vaguely inviting. I think I'll just "relax" for a bit. That probably means collapsing on the bed and scrolling through TikTok until I forget what day it is.
5:00 PM: Okay, I’m hungry. Maybe I'll venture out for some dinner. I'm torn between the thought of a greasy burger and the desperate desire for something, anything, remotely healthy. Let's be real, the burger is winning. Researching local places for dinner. But Google maps is telling me there's a taco food truck nearby. Hmm…
7:00 PM: Tacos WIN! Found a legit taco truck a few miles out. These tacos are glorious. Spicy, flavorful, and everything I could ever have wanted. I practically inhaled them. Definitely added salsa to my eyes, but damn if they weren't good.
8:30 PM: Return to the hotel and settle in to watch TV. It's supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere to wind down. snorts I was expecting to get sleep, not emotional.
9:30 PM: Attempt to sleep. The air conditioner sounds like a dying walrus, and I can't stop replaying the moment I accidentally splashed hot salsa in my eye.
10:30 PM: Finally asleep.
Day 2: Dessert Disaster, Retail Therapy, and a "Deep Dive" into… Well, Everything.
7:00 AM: Wake up to the sound of… construction. Great. Breakfast at the hotel! I grab a waffle from the breakfast buffet (overcooked, naturally), some sad-looking fruit, and a lukewarm coffee.
8:00 AM: Trying to focus on the plans. Planning the day out. I'd planned on visiting the Citrus Park Farmers Market. I've heard it's a riot of local produce and handmade crafts. And I really want some fresh oranges. I check online and it says they are closed. Okay. Plan B.
9:30 AM: Drive to the Inland Center Mall. Ugh, malls. So many humans and the same damn stores. But I'd promised myself some retail therapy. I'm still mourning the farmers market. It was going to happen.
10:00 AM: The mall. I get distracted by the bakery. I need something sweet. A gigantic, gorgeous cupcake calls my name. It's chocolate. It's got frosting. It's… awful. Dry, flavorless, a total waste of calories. I am deeply, profoundly disappointed. I need to wash away this taste. Maybe go on a shopping spree? I try to make up for my loss of the farmers market.
11:30 AM: Retail therapy. I buy a hat. It's ridiculous. I love it. This is a turning point.
1:00 PM: Lunch at the food court. Classic, slightly depressing, but gets the job done. Chicken fingers and fries. This will never not be comforting.
2:00 PM: Okay, time for a real adventure. I decide to research something and find some local points of interest. The Route 66. I decide to follow it.
3:00 PM: Route 66 – The Iconic Road. It's… anticlimactic. A strip of road with a few abandoned buildings and a lingering sense of past glory. Still, I feel a weird tingle of connection to history.
4:00 PM: I spot a vintage clothing store. I wander in. I spend an hour just rummaging through racks, lost in the nostalgia. I buy an old t-shirt with a picture of something that happened in the 1990s. I love it.
5:00 PM: I am starting to feel exhausted, a familiar feeling when on vacation. The day feels like a kaleidoscope of experiences.
7:00 PM: Dinner is whatever is closest after so much driving. I find a dive bar playing classic rock and order a burger. I don't finish the burger. I'm tired of burgers.
9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. I start to feel the loneliness of solo travel creeping in. I call my best friend. She answers. We talk for an hour about everything and nothing. It helps.
10:00 PM: Stare at the ceiling of my less-than-luxurious hotel room.
11:00 PM: Fall asleep.
Day 3: Departure and (Maybe? Probably Not) a Return Trip
7:00 AM: Wake up to the sound of nothing. I grab a breakfast bar from the lobby and check out of the hotel.
8:00 AM: Drive to the airport. The drive is uneventful, which is a relief at this point.
9:00 AM: Return "Betsy" to the rental place.
10:00 AM: Go through security.
11:00 AM: Wait at the gate.
12:00 PM: Plane takes off. Sigh of relief.
1:00 PM: Wonder if I will ever be back in the area again.
2:00 PM: Land. Home
Overall Assessment of the Holiday Inn Express Colton & The Trip:
The Holiday Inn Express? It’s a Holiday Inn Express. Clean-ish rooms, the basics, and a generally unremarkable experience. Did it get the job done? Sure. Would I rave about it? Absolutely not.
The trip? A beautiful mess. Uplifting, disappointing, frustrating, and funny all at once. I ate too many burgers, bought a ridiculous hat, had an emotional phone call, and drove on Route 66! I wouldn't change a thing.
Will I be back? Maybe. But next time, I'm bringing a better road map, more sunscreen, and a stronger appreciation for the beauty of the wonderfully weird. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find some real food.
This is the messy, imperfect, and honest truth. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a nap.
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Colton's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review! (IHG) - A Messy FAQ
Okay, so, is this place actually "BEST" or is that just clickbait? Spill the tea!
Alright, alright, settle down, you internet skeptics! "BEST" is hyperbole, okay? It's like when you say, "That's the GREATEST sandwich ever!" when it's just a really good turkey on rye. This Holiday Inn Express isn't a Michelin-starred experience. BUT… I *will* say, it’s consistently a really solid, reliably comfy spot. Think of it as your dependable friend who always shows up on time and brings a decent bottle of wine. It’s not groundbreaking, but it rarely lets you down. Emphasis on *rarely*… more on that later.
What's the parking situation like? I *hate* circling endlessly.
Okay, the parking... Here’s the thing. It *usually* has ample parking. Like, you pull up, BAM, space. Easy peasy. And for me, that's a HUGE win. I’m a professional-level car parker; I'm talking, like, years of practice. HOWEVER… One time? ONE TIME! I swear, it was a full-on parking apocalypse. I swear I saw a minivan circling for like, a half hour. I finally, after like ten minutes, snagged a spot way in the back, next to a dumpster overflowing with half-eaten breakfast muffins. And I’m not even exaggerating! That kind of messed up my whole vibe, you know? So: Parking – mostly good, but be prepared for the occasional hunger games. Seriously, bring snacks.
Let's talk about the rooms. Cleanliness? Comfort? (Are there bed bugs? TELL ME.)
Deep breaths, everyone. No bed bugs. …At least, I've never *seen* any bed bugs. *shivers* Okay, rooms. Generally, they're clean. I’m a bit of a neat freak, and I haven't cringed too much. Not like, "hospital clean," but you're not going to find clumps of dust bunnies or anything. The beds? Ah, the beds. They're usually… good. Not "cloud nine" good, but like, a solid 7 out of 10. Comfortable enough to pass out after a long day. The pillows are… well, they vary. Sometimes they're the perfect fluff; sometimes they're flatter than a pancake. I REALLY wish they'd standardize the pillows. Seriously, one of the most important things in my life. It’s a gamble, and I, for one, am a *passionate* pillow enthusiast. I always check the pillow count before booking, and on the rare occasions that they are good, I've been known to take some extra. (Shhh, don't tell IHG.)
The breakfast! The dreaded hotel breakfast. Is it even worth the calories?
Okay, the breakfast… this is where things get… interesting. It's the quintessential Holiday Inn Express breakfast, meaning, you know the drill. Scrambled eggs (usually, questionably yellow), sausage (sometimes edible), the waffle maker (a glorious, potentially addictive creation). And… (drumroll please)… the cinnamon rolls. Okay, the cinnamon rolls are the hero of this story. Seriously, they're the reason I keep coming back. They're warm, gooey, and I’m pretty sure they’re laced with crack. Okay, maybe not crack. But they're *that* good. (I'm *really* passionate about cinnamon rolls, OKAY?) But the coffee? Let's just say it's what you expect from a free hotel breakfast. I always bring my own stash of good coffee, just in case. One little coffee anecdote: One the breakfast was a disaster, the eggs were like rubber and the coffee tasted like old dishwater. I almost went back to my room with *zero* food. I just had more important things to do. Seriously, that's a deal-breaker for me.
This is where I go to work out! What about the fitness center? Is it sad?
Oh, the gym. LET’S TALK GYM. The fitness center is… well, it's *there*. It's not a state-of-the-art, gleaming palace of iron and sweat. It's usually pretty small. Expect a treadmill, an elliptical, maybe a stationary bike, and some free weights. It’s enough to get a basic workout in, BUT… space can be tight. I remember one time, I was trying to do some curls, and a guy on the treadmill was practically breathing down my neck. I mean, I understand, it’s a hotel gym, but COME ON, man! I don’t want to share the same fresh air as your sweat! So, yeah, it’ll do, but adjust your expectations accordingly. Consider bringing a good book if you're easily bored on the treadmill. Or maybe those noise-canceling headphones. Seriously, life savers.
What about the staff? Are they friendly? Obliging when asked for stuff?
Okay, the staff. This is where the Holiday Inn Express *usually* shines. They're generally pretty darn friendly and helpful. I’ve had some really lovely interactions with the people at the front desk. One time, I needed an extra set of towels (my fault, I’d spilled coffee on the ones they had), and they were super quick to hook me up. And another time, when the coffee machine was broken in the lobby, they were apologetic and offered to make me a fresh pot. They're usually good, but they're human. (I, for one, have worked in customer service, and I know that is *difficult*). So be nice. A little kindness goes a long way. You never know, it could land you a great room. And maybe, if you’re exceptionally nice… an extra cinnamon roll at breakfast. (Just a thought.)
Anything else I should know? Any hidden gems or deal-breakers?
Hmm… hidden gems? Okay, well, the location is usually pretty convenient. Close to… well, it depends on what you're looking for. But it’s generally centrally located, with easy access to… things. Deal-breakers? Okay, the elevator. Sometimes it's slow. Like, *painfully* slow. And sometimes, it smells faintly of… something. Could be the cleaning supplies, could be… well, probably best not to speculate. Also, the Wi-Fi can be a little spotty at times. Okay, it's *always* a little spotty. Be prepared to tether to your phone. But honestly? For the price, the location, and those glorious cinnamon rolls, it's a solid choice. Just don’t expect perfection. And for the love of all that is holy, ALWAYS check the cinnamon rolls. You really should...
